firstly,yuheng's draft 1 has very clear outline: lead negotiator for Copenhagen summit should be a great diplomat, a strong lead and a scientist.
secondly,paragraphs are well connected and the questions asked in the beginning of each paragraph are very good to attract the audience's attractions.
thirdly,good examples are given for each main point in body paragraphs. fourthly,very clear and straight forward thesis statement and topic sentences for the article.
there are also some places that should be improved or focused on:
it should be better if you could ass some of your own comments on the article or give some of your ideas that is different from the opinions of the author, or else, give some deeper arguments in the last paragraph(the summarizing paragraph).
then,it should be better if you could make some of the sentences shorter using punctuations.
lastly,try to apply APA in your essay would be a better choice.
as a whole,yuheng's essay is quite a good one.
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